Bananas

As you walk through just about any town in Kenya, there will be hawkers and street traders offering you just about anything you could possibly want, or not.

Favourite among the goods is fruit and vegetables. These are piled in pyramid shapes on colourful blankets at the side of the road, where they get a liberal coating of diesel deposits from the passing traffic. But, no matter.

But this isn't the issue. What I found is that bananas are small, as much as half the size of those usually found in a British supermarket. But, unlike those sold here (in the UK), they are yellow all over, not a hint of green skin, and they are sweet. The flavour of these 'picked off the tree when they are ripe' fruits is unbelievable to those used to eating the 'picked green and ripened whilst in transit' fruits.

And it is not just bananas. In Kisii, where I spend most of my time when in Kenya, there are piles and piles of oranges. This is a mis-nomer. They are not orange at all. They are almost as yellow as grapefruit, and if you were offered them at Tescos (other supermarkets are available), you would turn your nose up.

But they are good. Sweet, juicy and delicious, despite their skins indicating the contrary.

You will never buy a pineapple with any hint of green on the skin. They are bright orange, and again, so sweet and tasty, you will wonder why you ever bothered to eat the sour fruit offered in the UK.

Avocados are ready to eat. There is no need to "ripen" them at home. Corn on the cob is delicious, roasted over a charcoal burner with no butter. I didn't think I would like it, but it is so succulent, it doesn't need anything added to it. And the vendor will thoughtfully leave some stalk on it for use as a handle as you nibble your way around the cob.

Little of the produce would pass muster in Europe because it is misshapen, or the wrong colour, but everything I have eaten in Kenya has a flavour we in the UK could only dream about.

So, if you are planning a trip to Africa, don't be put off by the shape or colour of the fruits on offer, unless, of course the colour is black from the diesel deposits!

Things That Go Bump In The Night In Kenya

One of the major disadvantages of living in a house with a corrugated steel roof is the noise when something lands on said roof. Even with a false ceiling, the noise of a bird landing on the roof can be heard.

Especially at night.

At dusk, standing outside, bats can be seen flitting around. These aren't the cute little things one sees in the South of England, these are like raptors, enormous things!

And they roost in trees, where they return, carrying their staple diet, fruit - because they are probably fruit bats. Now, there are a lot of mango trees around in Kenya, so these bats come home with a mango, eat the flesh and drop the stone.

I am sure that most readers have seen the stone of a mango, it is big, and when one is dropped onto a corrugated steel roof, it makes rather a lot of noise. There is the initial clang as it lands, but

then a sort of grating slide as it slips off the roof towards the gutter.

The first time I was subjected to this, i jumped out of bed and grabbed the panga (machete) standing in the corner of the room. I was convinced the house was being broken into (this was soon after the post-election violence of 2008). As the second stone hit the roof, I realised what it probably was, and calmed down and eventually got back to sleep.

-oOo-

On my most recent visit to Kisii, the area suffered an earth tremor. I have mentioned this in an earlier post. I was instantly awakened when the house started to vibrate. The noise was terrifying, and realising what was going on, my mind drew a mental picture of where the house was situated.

We were in the lowest of three rows of little bungalows on the side of a steep side of a valley with a river at the bottom.

My next vision was of the hillside collapsing as we had had torrential rain for the last few days.

The rumbling, grinding vibrations went on for about 20 or 30 seconds, although it seemed a lot more at the time.

I lay there, waiting for an after-shock, or whatever happens in these situations, but none occurred.

It was terrifying, and this was just a little tremor, there was no structural damage. Things didn't even fall of shelves. In fact, when i got up in the morning, I wondered if i had dreamt it.

But I hadn't. Vincent, my host talked about it. But he said that in his 28 years in Kisii, there had never been a similar incident as far as he could remember.

And it was the last one that occurred while I was there. This was a very minor tremor and it got me thinking of the people who live in areas prone to major earthquakes. If I was scared by a minor tremor, what do these people feel?

Thinking about it, Kisii, is not that far from the Great Rift Valley, described as the area where the continent of Africa is ripping itself apart. This is evident when you are in the valley. There are volcanoes running the length of it. They are extinct, or at least dormant and most are now lakes, supporting an abundance of wildlife.

Although I have driven past it several times, I still get a thrill when I pass Suswa or Oldoinyo Nyukie, an impressive conical volcano on the road between Nairobi and Narok.

-oOo-

Of course, it is not only fruit bats that drop things on the roof.

Where I was staying on the coast, there was a mango tree overhanging the house and from time to time, a fruit would fall, especially if the ocean breeze was a little stronger than usual. There were also a lot of coconut palms, well laden with fruit, but luckily, it wasn't the season for them to drop.

Fruit 'n Veg

When I have been in Kisii, fruit and vegetables were always in abundance, for sale in small stalls or stacked on blankets all along the Rongo-Kisii road, in the open market, in fact anywhere someone could set up a stall.

However, having been indoctrinated in the buy-everything-in-one-shop mentality of most Brits, if I was in the local supermarket, I would go through the fresh food department, only to find two or three shriveled carrots, a moldy mango, no sukuma, and little else.

It soon struck me that if I wanted fresh fruit and veg, I had to get it outside. But, buying from these stalls along the side of the road, so close to the road, where overloaded lorries laboured up the hill, belching out black, choking diesel fumes all over the wares, was very off-putting.

Venturing into the open market by myself was also a little daunting.

Don't get me wrong. I don't feel threatened in Kisii, or anywhere else in Kenya, but I am aware of pick-pockets, and I have been accosted more than once by people asking for handouts, sometimes quite forcefully. So I only venture into the market when accompanied by a friend (or two!)

So why do the supermarkets have such a poor selection and quality of vegetables and fruit? It's not rocket science. I guess they can't compete with the stall-holders. It is just not worth their while to stock quantities of the stuff. After all, right outside, there is a stall selling mangoes, pineapples, apples, bananas, as well as various fresh herbs and spices - no contest.

Thinking about it, most fruit comes well wrapped in its own skin. Once peeled, with a bit of luck, they are just as wholesome as the sterilised, force-ripened, over-priced junk we buy from our supermarkets in the UK.

And we have fruit on our plot. This is well away from the main road. The soil around Kisii is very fertile and of course, it rains all year round, so growing two or even three crops a year should not be impossible.

There is nothing better than fruit ripened on the tree. I am always disappointed when I get back home and tuck into a regulation straight banana that was cropped green and ripened on its way to the UK. They are tasteless.

We have avocados growing on the plot as well. The problem is that I have yet to meet anyone in Kisii that knows what to do with them! Maybe I should ship Jamie Oliver, HFW or AWT over there - or how about Steve and Dave, the Hairy Bikers? They would know what to do with a tree-full of avocados- and enjoy the ride as well.

Food - for thought

Need to lose a few pounds? Go to Kenya!

Inspired by Mzungu Chick's latest blog, I thought I would share my weight loss programme with you.

To start, you need to have the car you use in Kenya to be torched during a riot, ensuring that there is no money in the kitty to replace it (this latter is extremely easy!).

Then visit upcountry - I chose Kisii - and live like a Kenyan on the breadline. This involves eating the staple food, sukuma wiki and ugali, and because you can afford it, fresh fruit by the kilo, every day for a month.

To get to town, about 1 mile away, you walk - uphill, bearing in mind that Kisii is at an elevation of 5,577 ft to start with. Do not take the matatu until you have walked at least ½ mile and have broken out in an uncontrolable sweat - the wheazing whilst breathing is optional.

Do all this with a 35litre back pack containing an old (and heavy) laptop, digital camera and all the other bits and pieces necessary to play the part of a tourist.

Once in town, bob from cyber cafe to cyber cafe until you find a queue that does not comprise half the population of the town. This is usually on the 3rd or 4th floor of a mall with no lift.

Upon leaving the cyber cafe, walk around town with a young person who is used to the thin atmosphere and can walk at 6 mph.

Walk home, stopping at the local supermarket. Buy sweets for 36 kids. Arrive home. Collapse.

Repeat every weekday.

On Saturdays, spend time teaching kids to play volleyball, skipping, skittles, hula hoop, tennis, etc., all this accompanied by a four-year-old who considers that he has been put on this Earth only to sit on your shoulders - permanently (at this point, the rucksack can be dispensed with).

Sundays - rest, comprising amusing previously mentioned four-year-old, making paper aeroplanes, skittles, playing football (you are the only person allowed to even touch the new ball you bought him!)!

I can guarantee that you will lose weight - a lot of weight!