Monday, 15 March 2010

Things I Will Say To My Mum Today ...

Taking a leaf out of the Millennium Housewife's book (or blog)

Good morning, Mum
It's Monday
Do you want toast or Museli?
Marmalade or honey?
It's Monday
You asked for honey.
I am sure you did.
It's still Monday
Yes, you take all the pills after breakfast.
Yes, all at the same time.
Look at the top of the paper, it's Monday
I am not shouting.
Put your hearing aids in.
Both of them
Well don't moan if you can't hear me then
It's Monday
Do you want some lunch?
Ham sandwiches
Yes, you can have them toasted
I did ask you if you wanted ham sandwiches.
Well, I've made them now
It's Monday, all day
Do you want a cup of tea?
No, I'll make it (under breath - I want it today)
We've having pork chops and something
No, there's nothing you can do, it's all under control
I'm doing pork chops
No, there's nothing to do. I've got it all under control
Those are pork chops
I'm going to grill them
No, under the grill
No, I've got everything under control
Just go and sit down. I will bring it in to you.
No, don't eat a cake now, you won't eat you dinner
You won't
Dinner will be in five minutes
See, I told you not to eat that cake.
I'm not surprised. You rarely finish your dinner
Because you eat cake just before I serve up.
Yes you do
OK, no you don't
No, I am not in a mood
Do you want a cup of tea?
No, I'll make it.
It's Monday.


Millennium Housewife said...

Bloody funny BM, I may be writing ones like that in about ten years.... xx
ps what day is it?

BabaMzungu said...

Thanks MH. It would never have been written without your inspiration.
Things are getting worse here, so look out for an update.