Gentle Drive to Kenya - Confused!

Dreaming of (or maybe secretly planning) a 'gentle' drive from home in the UK, through Europe, Asia, and some of Africa to home in Kenya, a total of about 6,500 miles.

I have been getting advice from all over to the effect that parts of and Ethiopia are safe/unsafe, certain areas should be avoided and that the best route is through the Sahara, etc.

Now I am so confused about where I can go, where I shouldn't go and where I should avoid like the plague, that there is now a broad band of red on my map, which effectively cuts off Kenya from the rest of Africa.

Will I ever find a way to Kenya that doesn't involve getting shot at, arrested, kidnapped, blown up ...?

The last information I received is that Ethiopia is OK, as long as I keep away from certain bits. And now, I am told that even in Kenya, the road from the border to Isiolo is dangerous as there are bandits in the area.

But I won't give up!