Driving in Kenya

The first thing anyone asks me is what side of the road Kenyans drive on.

Well ... I am no expert, but I have covered a few thousand kilometres on my various visits to Kenya, so here goes.

Officially, Kenya drives on the left, like the UK, but unlike the UK, this rule has conditions, like which side has the fewest potholes, least traffic, fewest pedestrians, cyclists, other obstructions. That is the side you (or at least, they) drive on. Oncoming traffic is not a consideration. Flash your headlights, sound your horn … and go!

On occasion, where the road is in a very bad state of repair, you may will be overtaken by matatus driving along the verge. Marvel at how they miss the pedestrians.

Traffic lights – these work the same way as in the UK, when they work at all, the difference being that no one takes any notice of them, even the Police, who may wave you on against a red light.

Note: Arm signals from the police are not the same as in the UK. For a start, the officer will rarely stand in the middle of the road, he values his life too much. So he will stand on the edge of the road and wave at you. Don’t wave back, just go. If it is raining, the police officer will be hampered by his umbrella, so take extra care. He may not be waving you on, but just clearing excess water from his umbrella.

Whilst on the subject of the police, when driving, you are likely to come across a lot of roadblocks, comprising a hand-written ‘STOP’ sign and then two metal strips with 6” spikes in the road. At night, they may be illuminated – or not.

These roadblocks are manned by several officers carrying AK47 assault rifles and are there to catch drivers without licences, un-roadworthy vehicles, etc. for which an on-the-spot bribe fine is levied. The offender is then allowed to go on his way.

You may find several roadblocks in the space of a couple of kilometres, especially towards the end of the month, just before pay day.

Direction indicators. Where these are fitted to a vehicle and working (which is not always the case), they are used to indicate that the vehicle is about to turn left or right – perfectly normal.

A slow vehicle may use them to indicate that it is/is not safe to overtake it (right indicator = not safe; left indicator = safe to pass). Don’t blindly take the driver’s word for it. He does not know how powerful your vehicle is, or how hard you are willing to gun it.

Rear lights. These are compulsory, which means that about 50% of vehicles have them with at least one bulb working. Matatu, motorcycle and bicycle drivers think they are exempt from having working rear lights, or brake lights, come to think of it.

So if you are thinking about driving at night, a word of advice - don’t!

Roundabouts. The rule is if you are on the roundabout, you have right of way. No one follows this rule. The unwritten rule is, if you are bigger/braver/suicidal, you have right of way.

Motorbikes. These are indestructible and the riders are immortal. They will be driven anywhere on the road to avoid actually having to stop.

Matatus. See motorbikes. Also, expect a matatu to stop in the middle of the road without warning in order to disgorge or pick up passengers. Have patience, the poor guy is only trying to make a living and he doesn’t care if his passengers are mown down when they get out. After all, they have already paid.

The Secret Plan To Freeze The World [?]

Originally posted by Bizarre news 13/01/2010

If you have been reading or watching any news at all in the last couple weeks you have noticed an unusual weather related trend to the stories. Record cold temperatures, record snow-falls, cold related deaths, frozen crops, severe weather.

This is odd when compared to what half of the climatologists [Ed: what about the other half?] in the world have been predicting for the last ten years, namely global warming. But it begins to make a bizarre sort of sense when you consider it in conjunction with the unexplained light display that occurred in the skies above Norway December of last year.

For days there was speculation as to what caused that bizarre spiral light in the sky, with no official explanation being given. Only after three days did the Russians come forward and claim that an experimental missile had been tested in the area and blew up in flight.

The media may have bought that story, but thinking people, or anybody who has ever seen pictures or video of exploding rockets, have their suspicions.

The story starts to make more sinister sense when you learn that a massive Partial Reflection Medium-Frequency Atmospheric Radar Facility is located in Ramfjordmoen, Norway, operated by European Incoherent Scatter Facility (EISCAT).

This facility is ostensibly for atmospheric research, but the United States' own High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program (located in Alaska) has demonstrated that high energy beams shot into the upper atmosphere can literally "punch" holes in the protective layer surrounding the planet. Could such holes dramatically effect weather patterns around the world? Could it be a weather weapon disguised as benign research?

Certain international newspapers have finally picked up the story, demanding that the United States admit to its involvement and cease experimenting with the atmosphere and global weather patterns. Could we actually be on the brink of a new, man-made ice age?

Tired Ol' Bus

She may be old (1994), she may be tired, but she is a good ol' gal in the snow!

I am, of course talking about my old Mazda BongoWagon, or as I affectionately call her, Zola, the Zola Budd, or the Matatu.

During normal weather (UK normal weather, that is) she leaks rain over my legs, gives me a stiff neck from all the drafts that are let in due to windows not closing properly, she is underpowered and very thirsty.

But in the snow, she is a star! Why? well, in normal mode, she is a normal rear-wheel drive 8-seater people carrier. But, and this is a big but, I can select four-wheel drive at the flick of a lever - on the move if necessary.

The front wheels are then driven as well as the rear wheels, and as the power hits the front wheels, the hubs lock, so for one front wheel to spin, they both have to spin, and with the engine sitting between them, it is unlikely.

OK, so going around a bend on a non-slippery surface is not possible without scrubbing tyres (as both wheels are always spinning at the same speed), but on the slippery stuff, old Zola has dragged me up and down hills and always got me to where I want to go without any fuss, no tantrums, no threats to throw me into the nearest ditch.

But will I remember this when the snow has disappeared, the weather gets warmer and Zola dumps a load of rain on my lap, or will I curse her like I do every Summer?

Snow Madness

The speed limit in our village is 30 mph (48 k/hr), but we are quite used to vehicles passing through at 50mph, sometimes faster.

But the stupidity of drivers was really shown up today. The road is covered in frozen snow, so is very slippery. There is a major accident at the north end of the village as a result of the snow. But drivers, who have passed the accident, are still passing my house, at the south end of the village, at 40 to 50mph (64 - 80 k/hr).

Do these people think that they are invincible?

The Crisis of Government

I am not a political pundit. I am just an ordinary person who keeps an eye on what is going on in Westminster, and what the PM and his gang are doing.

So, last week, two former cabinet ministers mounted a coup to try to oust James Gordon brown from the office of Prime Minister, but had so little open support that they ended up with egg on their faces.

The dust hadn't even settled when a former General Secretary of the Labour party, Peter Watts published his autobiography, which is serialised in a major Sunday newspaper, and what is being divulged is shocking. If it can be believed, not only is the PM not well loved by the electorate, but he is disliked by the people he works with, his Government!

But Gordon has issued a statement to say that he is determined to remain in office, and if labour win the election later this year, he will serve another full term as Prime Minister.

Power for the sake of power, or does he still believe that he is the saviour of the country and the world?

I don't.

Icicles

Still a bit chilly here ...

More Pretty Snow

The road to Ashmansworth

What I do for my clients.

Bartering with Cell Phones

While I am in the UK, I make pleas for old cell phones that I can take out to Kenya. We sell them to raise money for KCIS and Twiga.

Also, in the past when I have been in Kenya, I had to carry two cell phones, an all-singing model that I use in the UK, which has all my contacts, email addresses etc., on it, and another, cheaper (and heavier model) with a local (Safaricom) SIM card for making calls in Kenya.

On my visit in November, I decided to get my UK model unlocked so that I could get away with carrying just one, but retaining all the features that I probably didn't need anyway.

We trotted off to the local phone unlocking shop and handed over my phone and another that also needed unlocking. Upon our return, the phone-unlocking man told me that he couldn't do either of them and had taken them to another shop, where they could do it for 200/- each.

I offered my old "Kenyan" cell phone as payment, as I would no longer need it. He refused. However, another of his clients, who was queueing up to get served asked me how much I wanted

I wanted 400/- but asked for 500. I thought that was a reasonable price for this rather old but smart phone.

400/- he countered and I accepted. It would, after all cover the cost of unlocking the other two phones. The deal was struck and I handed over my "Kenyan" cell phone, and recuperated my "UK" model, which was now unlocked.

I walked away, pleased as punch. Not only had I bartered, and got what I wanted, from a Kenyan, but I now only needed to carry one phone, which had all my data on it, and probably more importantly, a camera.

What I Had To Drive On ...

It finally happened - I was called out to a computer breakdown, in a little village in the back of beyond. This is one of the roads I had to travel on. Thankfully, the old matatu has selectable 4-wheel drive.

Having managed to get there and back, I braved it into town to top up food supplies. Below is the main road into town, while the temperature was hovering around 0°C

Pretty, isn't it?

What I Woke Up To ...

Back garden at 8:30

The "matatu". I won't be using this today - I hope!

The driveway

Pretty though, isn't it?

... and this is what I am dreaming about!
Watamu, June 2009

Finger Trick Still Puzzles ... So Does Eric Morcombe!

On my trip to Kenya in May 2009, I showed a simple finger trick to the neighbourhodd children, the Twiga children and anyone else who wanted to see it.

Simple, yes?

Apparently not! On my visit in November, there they all were, still trying to do it, most of them without success. So I was asked  time and again to do it again ... and again ... and ...

Funnily, girls seems to pick it up quicker than boys, regardless of age.

But children would come running up to me just so that I would show them how to do it again.

Another amusing "trick" I picked up from the Morcombe & Wise show was with a paper bag. the illusion is to throw an invisible ball into the air and catch it in a paper bag. As the "ball" hits the bag, it makes a sound ... naturally, but when the kids look in the bag, there is nothing there.

Of course, fans of Eric Morecambe must have seen this trick thousands of times. The illusionist clicks the fingers of the hand holding the bag to make the sound of something landing inside, but if done correctly (and I have had a lot of practice), it can keep children puzzled for a very long time.

It works well on aircraft if you find yourself sitting next to a fractious, impatient child - and the airline even provides the paper bag (the sick bag), but make sure it hasn't been used!

Communication in Kenya

I am not going to go on about the difference between UK English and Kenglish - I have already covered this.

No, this is a much greater problem for me. In the UK, I have rarely had  to communicate with anyone who is profoundly deaf. Most people have some sort of hearing aid here.

But in Kisii, we are regularly visited by Simon, a profoundly deaf 8 year-old. He is a smashing kid, with a ready, broad smile, but he cannot hear or talk, other then by using sign language. He has his own language, which is a mixture of Kenyan Sign language and a few signs of his own.

But the biggest problem for me is to remember that Simon expresses his feelings with facial exaggerated expressions. So, sometimes, he can look very angry, or very sad, which alarms me until I realise that he is using his face to communicate.

On the up-side, when he is happy (which is most of the time), he smiles broadly and makes "happy" sounds.

I found out on my last trip that simon contracted malaria when he was a baby. He was treated at hospital but became deaf as a result either of the disease or the treatment - I don't know which.

He does attend school occasionally, but can often be seen wandering along the river bank. If he then sees someone at home, he rushes up to see us, usually around meal times!

He will eat anything offered to him and will not stop until all plates are thoroughly empty.

Simon is usually very grubby and wears clothes which are bordering on rags. But one Sunday, he invited himself to lunch and he was ... clean! Not only was he clean but he was wearing clean clothes with hardly a tear or hole in them. He looked like a totally different person to the point that I did not immediately recognise him!

As far as we can make out, Simon has a full complement of parents, so, strictly speaking, does not fall into a category to be put on the Twiga register. maybe we should change our criteria to include children who are neglected due to a disability. This is not to say that Simon is neglected, but I am sure that he could be better looked after.

Unfortunately, kids with a disability can be ignored by their parents, who do not know what to do with them.

Is Christmas Over Yet?

The twelve days of Christmas have not passed yet, our decorations are still up, but Easter Eggs are already on the shelves in the stores.

Now, I may be mistaken, but I think that Easter Day is  April 4th - most of the eggs I have looked at have a sell by date before then!

What a sad old world we live in.

Just Look At That! ... What?

I have suffered from it, becoming blasé about my surroundings.

When I lived in Paris, the Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame Cathedral, Sacré Coeur, became everyday sights and soon, they became invisible.

And so it was for my associate in Kisii. We walked into the reception of Kisii Hotel and the first thing that struck me was the garden. It was just a canvas of colour, vibrant, eye-watering colour, lilacs, reds, crimsons, oranges and yellows. It was magnificent.

"Just look at that," I said to Vincent, pointing out of the window to this vista of bright colours.

"What?" he said. "What are you looking at?"

Then it dawned on me. He sees colours like this every day in Kisii. In fact, many places in Kenya are this colourful. I thought back to my train journey from Nairobi to Mombasa, with trees covered in flowers of all shades. Yes, Kenya is a colourful country.

But, getting back to the hotel, they have several gazebos set out on the lawns, many covered with colourful flowers, and I could imagine a British family, Mum and Dad sitting under the gazebo, sipping ice-cold Tuskers, watching their 2.4 children running around on the grass under the mature trees - paradise.

As we toured the hotel, I glanced out into the gardens once again. The gardeners were at work, raking the lawns, and I saw little piles of rubbish, all lilac, pink and crimson, and I thought of when i rake our lawn in the UK, with piles of moss and pine needles.

Kenya is a wonderful country ... but when will the colours become invisible to me? Never, I hope.

Heri Za Mwaka Mpya

I wish a 

Happy New Year

to all who follow my blogs, and to all who know me

the world over.

What goes around comes around!

"We end this year and indeed this decade with the worst deficit in our history, the worst deficit in Europe, simply as a result of measures taken by this government."

Gordon Brown, 29 December 1989

Kisii Town, What Is It Really Like?

I can really only look at my second home from a European perspective. But, first impressions for most people, Kenyan and non-Kenyan,  on visiting Kisii for the first time must be that Kisii is vibrant, bustling, busy, chaotic.

They would not be wrong. Kisii is all of these things. But it is more. It is big enough to boast two national supermarkets, Tusky and Nakumatt, as well as the many independent shops and stores.

It has a large open market which is open on Mondays and Wednesdays. It has the illegal street hawkers and fruit sellers that, for the tourist, offer a chance to buy anything from safety pins to local craftwork, kangas, as well as the freshest fruit you will eat anywhere.

It is blessed with several hotels. I have visited many of them and I would not hesitate to stay in any of those I have visited. They do range from the very basic (with very basic prices) to 5-star quality, but even the cheap hotels offer clean accommodation, good food and good service, although it can be a little slow - this is Kenya!

All-in-all, Kisii is what most Europeans would expect in an African town, cows and goats mingling with the people on the street, matatus, motorbike taxis, and quite a few private and commercial vehicles. But traffic jams are largely a thing of the past as the council has built a large bus park and matatus are banned from the town centre.

Kisii is situated in the highlands in the south-west corner of Kenya, not far from the Maasai Mara, Lake Victoria, Kisumu, Homa Bay, Kericho, Nakuru and the borders with Tanzania and Uganda. But it is not on the traditional tourist route, the A 104 Nairobi to Kisumu Road. Instead it is tucked on a quieter but well maintained road from Nairobi that runs through Narok and Bomet. Then close to Sotik, you take a left, pass through several typical Kenyan villages, such as  Nyansiongo and Keroka until you arrive in Kisii. This road, B3, runs through the hills and valleys and is most picturesque.

Talking to some tourists who have found Kisii almost by accident say that they left Nairobi to go to the Maasai Mara, then wanted to go on to Kisumu and the north. Rather than go back to Nairobi, they took a bus to Narok and then on to Kisii, which they found very suitable as somewhere to recuperate for a day or two before carrying on with their tour of Kenya.

Kisii is the centre for soapstone carving. The quarry at Tabaka is the only source of soapstone in Kenya and any Kenyan soapstone carvings for sale anywhere come from this quarry. There are several outlets in Kisii town where soapstone can be bought. You can also find Maasai bead and leather work for sale in Kisii, as well as more general souvenirs such as kangas.

When a white person (mzungu) walks through the town, he or she will be greeted with the call, "Mzungu! How are you?" Kids in particular will be attracted to a pale skin, there are so few in Kisii that white people are still a bit of a curiosity. Some braver kids will want to touch you, particularly your hair. They find it fascinating as, to them, it is soft compared to their tight, "wooly" hair.

So, what is Kisii really like?

It is typically African, dusty, chaotic, but also vibrant and busy. It is friendly. Europeans (wazungu) are always welcome in Kisii.

New Year's Resolutions

About this time last year, I made, and recorded on this blog, a couple of New Year's resolutions.

So how did I do? Did I keep them?

The first was that my glass should always be half-full rather than half-empty. Well, I have to say I think I have  been far more positive this year, and although I have had a couple of fits of depression, they have been less severe and much shorter than in the past.

As to the KCIS (and other) projects in Kenya, we have made good progress with the methane production and although it is not perfect, I am happy with what we have achieved.

And I have promoted a commercial project which will bring in a small but regular income in Kenya.

So, all in all, I haven't done so badly, two of last year's resolutions bore fruit!

I am not going to make any new ones for 2010, but will strive to keep those that I made a year ago.

Looking Back on 2009

On the whole, it has been a good year. I have been to Kenya twice, and I feel that we (that is, Kenyan Community Initiative Support or KCIS) have actually achieved something tangible.

On the first trip, in May, we cleared a small vegetable plot at the Twiga Centre, sowed some vegetable seed, with a view to supplying the most needy children with fresh vegetables all year round. OK, it didn't quite go according to plan - there is no one at the plot during the week, so if there is no rain, even for a couple of days, the plot dries out. This happened in June and we lost some of the seedlings. But we still had a fair few survivors, which as still growing and providing food.

What else did we achieve in May? Not a lot. We updated the register and put it on computer, which makes managing the files on the kids a bit easier - and we treated a couple of kids who had a ringworm infestation.

I also ended my relationship with my erstwhile girlfriend on the Coast. I got the impression that it was a give and take relationship. I did the giving and she ... well, you can guess the rest.

I am still fond of her and her kids. Children belonging to one party in a relationship can be considered excess baggage or a blessing. My two have long since flown the nest, so do not enter the equation. But my girlfriend had two and as far as I was concerned, they were a blessing. I am not saying that either was perfect, far from it, but they have really good characters - I miss them. Who knows? Maybe we'll get back together again. I sort of hope we will.

During the months between my first and second visits to Kisii, I worked on a final design for a methane generator. But it didn't matter how much work I put down on paper, I needed to build one and prove to myself that it would work.

So in November, that is exactly what we did. I didn't follow my latest design - that is for another day - but a simple anaerobic digester fed with cow slurry, and it worked. So I bought a table-top gas stove and that worked too. This is our most impressive achievement to date as it paves the way to providing free cooking fuel to the Twiga Centre as well as many rural Kenyans.

We built a swing at the Twiga Centre. This has been, by far, the most popular play equipment ever. In fact, if we had fitted it with headlights, the kids would be using it through the night.

But the swing was not all good news. It is the first time I have seen serious squabbles break out amongst the children. We are going to have to build some more play equipment on my next visit.

We planted more seed, all of which sprang up and looks very healthy. We also distributed seed to those children who wanted it and who had somewhere to plant it.

It is never good news when we have to take in more children, as it means that their families are no longer able to care for them. But, it is good to know that we are helping  them in a small way.

We took in three girls in November. This will help to balance up the boy to girl ratio. We were also able to strike off three children, two boys and a girl, as their widowed mother has finally received the legacy left to her by her deceased husband.

We also formalised the registration of all the children on the Twiga register. Each child had to get a form filled in by their closest relative or guardian, with enough detail for us to be able to help each child as an individual.

One of our new intake was born HIV+. This child is our only infected child. We had one last year, who was only three years old when she succumbed to her illness. I hope and pray that we will be able to hold on to our new little one for a lot longer.

While in Kisii, I thought it would be a good idea to revive the ailing business that I had started over a year ago. We did a whirlwind tour of some businesses and got some business, business that will bring in a regular income for a fair while. It is still in its infancy, but promises to be reasonably successful, by Kenyan standards, anyway.

Since my return to the UK, we have had a tentative offer of funding to start building the orphanage, good news indeed. We will not be housing every child on our register, only those who have no one to look after them. Eventually, we will take in more, those who are living with elderly relatives, for example. But we will still strive to keep family units together with other forms of support, if at all possible.

So that was 2009. What will happen in 2010? I can only guess, but we do have plans. We want to improve the anaerobic digester, and build more. We want to tie up with an organisation in Bungoma to look at ways that water hyacinth can be used. As I mentioned earlier, we want to build more play equipment, maybe a see-saw. And we want to start rainwater harvesting at the Twiga centre.

Not too challenging - I hope!

Waiting For News ... and Receiving It

Christmas ... a time for rejoicing, giving and receiving.

But at 8.00 this morning, as I logged onto the Internet, I was hit with the news from Kenya that the wife and two daughters of my good friend and business partner had been involved in a road accident on the way to church. They were accompanied by one of our Twiga children, Benta, who is living with them.

The four of them have been taken to hospital. That is all I know. So now I am waiting by my computer to receive news, praying that it was a minor accident resulting in nothing more than cuts, grazes and bruises.

What a way to spend Christmas morning.

But it is worse for my friend Vincent. It is his wife, they are his children, and even Benta, the Twiga child is one of the family.

He is at the hospital now, with his family, hopefully getting the news that no one has been seriously hurt.

Abigael, Faith, Yvonne, Benta, I am praying for you all. And I am sure that any reader to this sad blog will do the same.

Update

All are as well as can be expected having been spilled off a motorcycle taxi - nothing more than cuts, grazes and bruises.

Everyone is now back at home, and celebrating life!